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Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor

 

okcupidconfessions: No, I don’t want to see yr dick pix, tnx. The Male Gaze and Female Sexuality on OkCupid It always amazes me how even though my profile can be set to “seeing someone” and under what I’m looking for I’ve always had “new friends”, most of the people who message me will be frank in their desire to simply bone me. It shouldn’t come as a surprise to me that I’m going to be viewed simply as a sexual object to a lot of people, but for some reason it still does. Here is the one picture I’ve uploaded of me, and here are the dozens of movies I’ve listed that I adore. It seems like it should be common sense to take this information about me that is on my profile, i.e. that I’m not single, that I have a Master’s degree in Philosophy, that I am not interested in posting a billion pictures of myself, and conclude that I probably won’t sext session with you. I get a lot of messages like this from men and women (I’m listed as bi on my profile) and it’s somewhat disheartening to me that my objectification is still out of my control. Sure, OkCupid is actually pretty cool in that it allows both men and women the possibility to answer questions about sexuality that might be considered relatively taboo. These questions are answered, however, in a very particular setting that strips them of any sort of liberatory sentiment, i.e. that of people who are constantly making snap judgments of each other, sifting through multiple streams of quantifiable personality traits and head shots. When designer Tom Ford said, “I am equal-opportunity objectifier,”1 he was hitting on a very interesting point about a shift in the social consciousness toward sexuality. It is now more acceptable than ever for men to be viewed as sexual objects (oh hai, Isaiah Mustafa). Is this really an achievement women ought to feel proud of themselves for? I know OkCupid probably never deemed itself a tool of any sexual revolution, but I believe it’s important to think about the implications of our daily actions. When I the effects of the male gaze, however, I wonder what on Earth I’m doing exposing myself on such a website. OkCupid: Male gaze incarnate or a helpful way of letting women express their kink?

okcupidconfessions:

No, I don’t want to see yr dick pix, tnx.

The Male Gaze and Female Sexuality on OkCupid

It always amazes me how even though my profile can be set to “seeing someone” and under what I’m looking for I’ve always had “new friends”, most of the people who message me will be frank in their desire to simply bone me. It shouldn’t come as a surprise to me that I’m going to be viewed simply as a sexual object to a lot of people, but for some reason it still does. Here is the one picture I’ve uploaded of me, and here are the dozens of movies I’ve listed that I adore. It seems like it should be common sense to take this information about me that is on my profile, i.e. that I’m not single, that I have a Master’s degree in Philosophy, that I am not interested in posting a billion pictures of myself, and conclude that I probably won’t sext session with you.

I get a lot of messages like this from men and women (I’m listed as bi on my profile) and it’s somewhat disheartening to me that my objectification is still out of my control. Sure, OkCupid is actually pretty cool in that it allows both men and women the possibility to answer questions about sexuality that might be considered relatively taboo. These questions are answered, however, in a very particular setting that strips them of any sort of liberatory sentiment, i.e. that of people who are constantly making snap judgments of each other, sifting through multiple streams of quantifiable personality traits and head shots.

When designer Tom Ford said, “I am equal-opportunity objectifier,”1 he was hitting on a very interesting point about a shift in the social consciousness toward sexuality. It is now more acceptable than ever for men to be viewed as sexual objects (oh hai, Isaiah Mustafa). Is this really an achievement women ought to feel proud of themselves for? I know OkCupid probably never deemed itself a tool of any sexual revolution, but I believe it’s important to think about the implications of our daily actions. When I the effects of the male gaze, however, I wonder what on Earth I’m doing exposing myself on such a website.

OkCupid: Male gaze incarnate or a helpful way of letting women express their kink?

  1. calebcoppola reblogged this from okcupidconfessions
  2. okcupidconfessions posted this